I am out of the office, I’ll be back on Monday the 20th.

Yeah I know it’s a really boring out of office this weekend but I figured I’d give it a go, see what it’s like to be “one of the boring ones”.

So far it’s non-stop disappointment.

I’m out of the office and am attempting to navigate the M4 with a bucket over my head. Or maybe it’s a plant-pot, I can’t tell, it’s really dark in here.

I’ll be back in the office (SA1) on Wednesday the 8th (almost said 7th, wow this helmet is a hindrance) where I’ll be adding to my report on “which department gives me the most free food”.

I’m out of the office because I’m really really really trendy. I’m starting a new research project titled “Which department gives me the most food”. So far Renewals are winning, Buy a book are 2nd and CS are 3rd. Everybody else is joint 4th, pull yourselves together people!

I’ll be back in the office on Thursday the 2nd. I will also be in Cardiff. Anybody who tells you there’s dancing involved is probably lying.

I’m out of the office reading up on git remotes (allows multiple people to work on the same project more easily) and working out how to make a plugin architecture for Pyramid. To cool off I think I will take part in bare-knuckle boxing.

I’ll return to the office on Tuesday the 23rd, if all has gone well I’ll be delighted and really cheerful. If not then I will be delighted and really cheerful.

I am out of the office playing chicken with chickens (so far I’m totally winning).

I’ll return to the office on Monday the 22nd. Over the weekend I’ll be dancing, learning Git version control and maybe, just maybe, some Haskell.

I’m eating pizza and dancing (probably not at the same time). I am performing said activities outside of the office. I may also be drinking fruit juice at the same time (maybe while dancing, I’m undecided on that part).

I’ll return to the office on Friday the 19th where I’ll push the latest code update to the server and hope like crazy it doesn’t break.

I’m out of the office and I’m out of Trifle (oh no!). I’m very upset because of the false advertising used on said trifle. It said it fed 4, but it only fed me and though I felt somewhat full, I’m hungry again now.

I’ll be back in the office on Thursday the 18th and hopefully in Cardiff (wasn’t feeling great this morning so we’ll see how it goes). Connect 4 was a huge success.

I’m no longer in the office! I’m back home implementing Connect 4 using a functional programming style (so far it’s very interesting). There is a vicious rumour circulating regarding my ability to play connect 4 (or lack thereof). It’s probably true.

I’ll be back in the office on Wednesday the 17th. Connect 4 may or may not be ready by then.

I’m out of the office and in a plot twist, it’s not for dancing. Instead I’ll be working on Connect 4 (Draughts is going to wait, I want to make some cool features but want to use a simple game for it) and watching Game of Thrones.

I’ll return to the office on Tuesday the 16th. Mr Wilcox, I do not approve of your Wordy strategy, we both know Quanted isn’t a real word.

I’m not in the office. I am, according to Cath, “totes amazing”. I’m not sure what’s worse, her inability to distinguish reality from fiction (I’m actually totally unbelievably amazing) or her literacy. She also thinks my biggest problem is my self-esteem issues.

I’ll return to the office on Monday the 15th, if you’re emailing me on Friday the 12th then I’ve bad news for you. I’m at a party (Swansea OB SGM, if you have a party you’re throwing then feel free to invite me). Who wants a roly-poly race on Monday?